It's Okay . . . Walk Away
Sitting here next to this BAREFOOT bottle of deliciously sweet Moscato and a pack of fresh, unopened pineapples, all I can say to myself is, it’s okay.
I have been struggling with the idea of never letting people down ever since I could remember. It’s just something that has been instilled in me for a long time. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a value that was taught to me by any one person but over time, I just gained a sense of wanting everyone to be happy. Unfortunately, that meant that I wasn’t.
The concept of ‘disappointment’, is unfamiliar to me. I have always striven to make others around me, proud. Whether it’s my mom, manager, godmother (rest peacefully), friends, whoever, if I was going to do something, I was going to give it my all. Even things that I did not want to do. I always encountered statements such as, “Give it a try Princess.” But now, I’m like, nothing I do should matter more to anyone but myself. If I do not want to do something or I wanna give up, I have every right to do so, right?
However, in true Princess fashion, I have allowed myself to ONCE AGAIN let someone make me feel like it’s not okay to walk away. Not this time. This time Princess is taking those two size 9 feet (do not come for me), putting one in front of the other, and taking steps toward a better, more stable, life.
Often times, during toxic relationships/situationships, we find ourselves giving others the benefit of the doubt more than we know we should. Whether it’s romantically or even in a business setting. We want to believe the best in people, despite their consistency in showing their true nature. What sucks more is when that little voice, the one you ignore every time a red flag enters the play and you smile through it because you just really want things to work, is freaking right. I swear that voice is right every time. It’s like the beginning of that Bump N Grind song by R. Kelly. Believe me,
trust that voice.
It’s there for a reason. We can avoid so much turmoil if we didn’t challenge our intuition at every turn. Oh, and let’s not forget the friends/family that you ask for advice, who just wants you to give everything a chance, even the things you know aren’t for you. “ You’ll never know until you try.” I can agree with that to some degree but if I know a shark gon’ bite me, I’m not gonna swim near it just to see if I’ll live. I’ve even had people try to tell me to stay at a job that I, the person who is working there and experiencing it firsthand, did not want to continue to work at. We love to think that we know what’s best for people but sometimes, we don’t. It’s okay. It’s bad enough that the thing/person you’re trying to walk away from is making you second guess yourself. I hate the guilt trip. I prefer for my trips to involve sunshine, not clouds and rain. If you want to giddy on up out of a situation, then go! I implore you to just saddle up. I’m slowly learning/already putting into practice that it is okay to let people down. Don’t even concern yourself with how they would feel about something that is best for you, especially if in the long run, it’s progressing you forward. Letting someone else’s feelings weigh heavily over a personal decision is not the way to go.
Do not let anyone stop you from a making a decision that could possibly affect your life because they want to keep you in a place that benefits them. You are only holding yourself back and they are only holding themselves up.
Have you ever experienced something to this effect? Comments are welcome : )